Macrea (bf) has a new job working the night shift. So, on his day off last Saturday, we went up to Norris to have a late lunch/early dinner at Clinch River Brewing. It was a much different vibe than we had expected, but it was alright.
On our way, we passed the weir on Clinch River that leads to an island covered in bamboo. I told him about how my nana used to take my cousins and I on adventures all the time. She would often take my male cousins to get bamboo sticks from the island. And once, I asked if I could go with her to get a bamboo stick, and she drove me up there, but the dam generators (pun intended) were on which meant we weren't able to cross over to the island since the water was rushing over the weir bridge too fast to stay safe. I never got my bamboo stick.
So, being the man he is who is always finding ways to make me happy, Macrea drove us over to the weir after our meal. We hopped over the "authorized personnel only" gate. That was mistake number 1. But my nana used to do that all the time! So, how could it be wrong?
We walked across the weir and made it to the island. We found a bamboo tree and carved our initials into it with a tiny knife, and Macrea found me a stick.
I'm telling you, we weren't there for more than 15 minutes. No alarm went off like it was supposed to to warn us that the generators turned on and that the water would be rising. We unsuspectingly walked over to the weir and were met with our doom.
We still have no idea how the water rose so fast without warning, but it was rushing over the weir too high for us to have any hope of walking on it. If we did, we'd be pushed into the grates on the end of the weir, scratched up, and pushed down the treacherous water. There was no hope of swimming.
We didn't know what to do. Or, I should say, I didn't know what to do. Except laugh. Macrea, who could definitely survive weeks alone in a forest, made some calls, figured out when the generators would shut off (in one hour... or so the internet said), and kept watch on the water.
Well, folks, the internet lies. The water didn't get low enough for us to safely cross for 2 1/2 hours. So there we sat. And stood. And walked. And sat again. Until the late evening.
It was an eventful 2 1/2 hours. Macrea cut down a bamboo tree and stuck it in the water to measure how high the water was. A bird pooped on his shoulder. His friend gave the park ranger his number, and three different park rangers ended up calling us to check on us. One of them even showed up and waved at us from across the river. And it sprinkled a little bit.
I'll put a TMI warning right here. TMI WARNING!!!
About an hour in, I had to pee since I had just drank an entire bottle of Dr. Pepper. Maybe I had a little accident, maybe I didn't. Macrea had to go #2. Desperately. So he found a little spot. And relieved himself. I feel bad for the next people that went over there...
Overall, I had a great time. I love a funny adventure like that. For Macrea, though, it was his only day off that he spent stuck on an island. But he sure made sure that we made it off safe.
Once the water was low enough, Macrea took off his shoes, climbed down the ladder, and stood in the freezing 2 inches of water left. Then, I climbed down, and so my feet wouldn't get cold or wet, he carried me until we reached the part of the weir with no water running over it. Then, we were free!
And that's the story of how I got stuck on an island. Legitimately.
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