My phone got knocked into the ocean...

Have you ever dropped your phone in a body of water? Maybe a toilet? (I have twice) Maybe the bathtub? (Again, I have twice.) What about the ocean? Me too.

I went to the beach with my family, some of my cousins, and my sweet friend Madison in May

(actual footage of my phone) of 2020.

Right in the heart of the dreaded coronavirus. A corona-cation if you will. We walked out onto the pier in the Isle of Palms almost every evening so that Madison and my boy cousins could fish.

Personally, I hate fish. They smell bad. They're ugly. They're slimy. Just all around gross. I also hate the concept of fishing. How would you feel if someone stuck a giant needle through your cheek and pulled you underwater so that they could take mediocre pictures with you dangling there suffocating? And then they rip out the needle and tossed you flippantly back into life-giving oxygen just so they could catch you or your mom or your best friend 5 minutes later.

I'm not trying to be an extreme animal rights activist or anything, I eat meat. In fact, I couldn't and I wouldn't go a week without chicken. There's just something about the hobby that rubs me the wrong way. But that's beside the point.

Anyways, we went out onto the pier like every other night. The crew fished while I played country music through a speaker; that fit with the vibe. Here are some things that are important for you to know before I move on: Madison has a tendency to flail. What I mean by that is that she gets very energetic. Constantly. She has the ability to get people excited. She also has the ability to accidentally fall or trip or other things of their likeness for no reason. Also, all week we had been quoting Outer Banks. We had all seen it and were obsessed with it like everyone else who uses TikTok was. The quote we used all week was from the scene when John B is running from the cops (which is like every other scene tbh). He take a leap and a fall, and Sarah Cameron shouts, "Dude. Did you just yeet over that chain?" I know the writers were just trying to be with the times, but I'm pretty sure "yeet" got old two minutes after it was trendy. Yet, we said that sentence ironically at least five times each day we were on vacation and it got funnier and funnier.

Back to the story. I was standing by the edge of the pier holding my phone securely in my hand. And Madison was demonstrating to my uncle how big the next fish she was going to catch was going to be. She stretched out her arms to as wide as they could go and whacked my phone straight out of my hand. I felt it fly out from my fingertips. Then my soul left my body.

I stood amazed, my mouth wide open, staring at Madison whose eyes and mouth were equally as wide. We looked down at the ocean below us. Then back up to each other. We couldn't help but crack a bit of a smile. It felt like it must not have really happened. That only happens in shows that tweens love that my mom always called "teeny-boppers". But it happened.

All I could think to do was ask what I was even supposed to do? Nobody prepares you for this stuff. (First world problems.)

I suggested that we go look for it. The party kindly reminded me that we had been fishing for sharks, it was pitch dark, and the water was at least 15 feet deep. It was a lost cause. So, I walked back to our condo where I met my parents with a tear streaked face. I apologized and explained what happened ready to hear disappointment in their voices. Instead, they just laughed. It was nobody's fault; there was no harm at play. It was just an unforeseen circumstance.

My phone is gone forever, along with the fortunes I had saved from fortune cookies over the years. But, once I made my way back to the pier, everyone saw that I was ready to make light of the situation.

That's when Madison informed me that as soon as I had left, one of my cousins said what will stick with me forever: "Dude. Did you just yeet your phone off of that pier?"